How to Tell Good Stories
Tell me the facts and I’ll learn. Tell me the truth and I’ll believe. But tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever.
Trying to get better at storytelling also means trying to get better at being a friend, or a son, a boyfriend, a brother, or just a better person. Storytelling isn’t just about entertaining others — it’s about connecting with them on a deeper level. It has transformed me into a better dinner companion, compensating for my lack of golf skills and making me more palatable to my in-laws.
The Power of Storytelling
Storytelling is the foundation of human communication and an incredibly powerful tool for connecting with people. It’s not about simply recounting events; it’s about reflecting change and sharing the insights that shape us. A great story transforms something in the character or the world around them, giving it a deeper meaning. Whether it’s a personal narrative or a shared experience, storytelling offers us a way to communicate lessons, emotions, and transformations.
Anecdotes vs. Stories
Many confuse anecdotes with stories, but there’s a key difference. Anecdotes are brief, often amusing recounts of incidents, while true stories reflect personal growth or transformation. For storytelling to be impactful, it must highlight change. Ask yourself, “What changed?” and “Why does it matter?” Without change, it’s just a series of events — what Matthew Dicks calls an anecdote.
Cast Yourself as the Protagonist
People connect more deeply with stories when the storyteller becomes the protagonist. Telling your own story brings authenticity and vulnerability, which strengthens your connection with the audience. When you share personal experiences, especially hard truths, you allow listeners to relate to your journey on a more intimate level.
The Power of Five Seconds
The core of every great story revolves around a five-second moment — a point of transformation or clarity. These brief moments are what make stories memorable. Dicks emphasizes that these moments don’t need to be life-changing events like surviving a car crash or a near-death experience. Often, the most compelling stories are about small, relatable moments, like friends showing up for you when you least expect it. These moments carry emotional weight, giving your story the impact it needs.
Crafting a Narrative Arc
To build a satisfying narrative, start at a point that contrasts with your story’s end. The difference highlights the change and creates a natural arc. Once you identify your pivotal five-second moment, structure your story around it, allowing the audience to see the journey of transformation. A clear beginning and an insightful ending tied to personal growth provide a fulfilling experience.
The Present Tense for Immersion
Using the present tense when telling a story helps immerse your audience, making them feel like they’re experiencing the moment with you. It adds immediacy and intimacy, keeping listeners engaged. Avoid using rhetorical questions or addressing the audience directly, as these can break the immersive flow of the story. Let your narrative pull them in naturally.
Avoiding Vulgarity
While swearing might feel like it adds emphasis or humor, it often alienates your audience. Matthew Dicks stresses that restraint in language can make your story more appealing to a wider audience. By focusing on universal emotions and experiences, you ensure your stories resonate with everyone, no matter the topic.
Homework for Life
One of the most valuable tools for improving your storytelling is what Matthew Dicks calls “Homework for Life.” Each day, reflect on your experiences and identify the most storyworthy moment. Write it down in a few sentences. Over time, this practice will help you see stories everywhere, turning seemingly mundane moments into compelling narratives. It’s a simple habit that can transform how you approach storytelling.
Final Thoughts: Everyone Can Be a Storyteller
You don’t need dramatic experiences to tell a compelling story. The most powerful stories are often rooted in everyday moments. By focusing on small transformations, authenticity, and the emotional core of your experiences, you can connect meaningfully with others. Storytelling, like life, is about finding those five-second moments that change you and sharing them with the world.
